Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
