I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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