I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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