I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
