On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
zippers are such a cool invention
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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