i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
