I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My feet surprised me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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