I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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