Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
