Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
