You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
