After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
