she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize