So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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