Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
