Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
