just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
