Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
