would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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