I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
