Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
