Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
