I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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