i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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