i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
