So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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