By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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