I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
