You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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