I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
