Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
