There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
