Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I touched a dick in church today
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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