Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
