So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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