talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
