did you get engaged???
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
