The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
