no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
