real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
