How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
