She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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