she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
