She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize