Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
