R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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