HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
