once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
