That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize