Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
