i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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