These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
