I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
