Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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