How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
