do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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