Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
handjob tips. give me some.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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