I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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