Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
