Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
they're like a gay fantastic four
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
