Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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