do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How external is "for external use only"?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize