Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
