I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
